More: Sometimes people won’t say sorry not because they don’t regret anything, but because they regret something so much, their insides are convinced a word or more wouldn’t capture, much less convey, the enormity of remorse hammering them within. Because they repent it so much, they’d rather be penalized for it—in the hope of being awarded a closure afterwards—than risk a repeat of everything they wish hadn’t happened. Because they’d rather let themselves be accused of indifference than be strained by mental replays of things they rue having said or done. Because they’d rather let you decide your future together than ruin all chance of having one by saying something far inadequate to the prevailing circumstance.
Maybe, when you find them so—neither fighting you, nor offering explanation or compensation—you should forgive them nevertheless. Because they’re stuck at a place where, on one side, exists an acute sensitivity to your unhappy experience, and on the other, a poverty of ideas for undoing the damage done. Because their guilt has rendered them so meek, they’d rather remain quiet than enlarge your awareness of their misdeed by speaking of it.
No, you don’t have to stop wanting, demanding, or expecting propitiatory efforts from them. But forgive them. Because their silence and inaction exhibit an honourable side to them. A side in which are present copious amounts of respect and consideration for you and your feelings. Forgive them so they may allow themselves attempts at redemption, at seeking some forgiveness from you. Forgive them because, perhaps, when they think a sorry wouldn’t be enough, they already are sorry enough.
People may hurt you and not say sorry. But, before you get bitter, know this. Sometimes people are so repentant, they think no word or act could be apology enough.
(c) Mickey Kumra