When you break up with someone, you push them into living a life that no longer includes you. You force their mechanisms of survival into fighting tooth and nail to cope with the emotional shock you’ve delivered to them. With your dumping of them.
You initiate them into a life without you. You returning to them at any later time may not return them or your relationship to what they’d been earlier. Because now their emotional and other mechanisms are primed, thanks to you, to watch out for threats to their security and stability. They’re now—again, thanks to you—awakened to the possibility of you leaving them. Of them having to live with your deliberate absence after having invested themselves so fully in you.
You ready them for a life without you. And now, they may not be able to love you, for no fault of theirs, the same way again—with abandon. And what’s love that’s not free but fearful? ~ Mickey Kumra
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