Circumstances injure you. People wound you. But you recover. You always do. That’s the thing, people always do recover. But they allow themselves to become troubled, and unnecessarily so, by the pace at which their return occurs. By the pace at which they are expected to. By themselves, if not by some others.
We all have different amounts of baseline resilience. And we have different amounts of tolerance to different events. These two—resilience and tolerance —together determine how quickly we bounce back from a setback. We bounce back quicker or slower from something basis both how and how much it impacts us. We require time to sort ourselves out. To work our way through the thoughts and emotions holding us when tragedy first strikes.
We heal. But some of us take longer than do some others. That’s alright. We only need to know that it really is. Even if nobody agrees with us. We need to know people have their own ideas about how things should be. As do we. Ideas picked up from the swarm of messages floating in the world around. Ideas learned without close enough experience of relevant situations and states.
Everyone heals. Just not at the same pace. So, stop measuring, stop doubting, stop feeling pressure. And keep doing whatever keeps you going.
And if you ever find yourself on the other side, by the side of someone going through a slow recovery, don’t ask them to hurry up. Gift them your patience. Do your best to allow them all the time they need. Help them. Don’t rush them.
(c) Mickey Kumra